I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
