I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
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