If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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