just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
