I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
