today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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