i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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