laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
