you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
smell my finger.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
