I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
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I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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