ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
