i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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