i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
