I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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