i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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