It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
