In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
