In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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