I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
