Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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