Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
