I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I could fuck to npr.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize