so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
