How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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