There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
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i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
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More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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