the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
