turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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