Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
