i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize