he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Who died my cat blue again?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
