you guys were way drunker than both of me
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
