Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
