Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
