Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
