i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
