I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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