just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
