note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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