TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
