I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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