Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
How's work?
Spinning.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
