I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he shaved USA in his pubs
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Who died my cat blue again?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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