There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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