She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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