Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
