We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I pour the whiskey from now on
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
