dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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