Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
