Non-Jews are for practice
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
