Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
