i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
