That's when you crack a 10am beer
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
