Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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