i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
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