I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Semen is not good for contacts.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
