Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
