I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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