i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
