did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
