There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
