That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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