i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
